Tame

"Your hair is a bit wild, we'll have to tame it down for this."

"We really only need low-key vocals here, so keep it mellow and subdued."

"They only want a background look here. So nothing too bright or colorful, keep it simple and safe."

"Don't cause a distraction; so no sparkles, prints, or bangles."
"I prefer a more mild flavor, there's too much peanut in those peanut butter cookies."

I have been told to tame it down in nearly every aspect of my character:  hair, cooking, singing, decorating, painting, clothing, even emotions!  I get tired of it!  It seems as though everyone wants "authentic" as long as it isn't too big, loud, bright, boisterous, strong, or flavorful.  But that IS how I am.  That is WHO I am.  So often I feel rejected because of it.

"Whoa, stick your finger in a light socket?!"

"He should just turn off her mic."

"So bright, I can't see you coming!"

"Breaking all the fashion rules again?"

When I haven't toned it down a bit I've been ridiculed for it.  I would just like to be me in all of it.  Why am I not okay the way I am?

Scream

Sometimes I want to scream and cry and speak my mind.  

But it's selfish and petty and makes me look vain.  

The hurt and the pain I just can't explain 

Cuz what's in my brain isn't real.  

You won't understand I can't expect you to.  

You're happy and safe and moving forward a pace 

Your dreams and your future secure. 

But I'm left out left behind never coming to mind 

Forgotten or blurry a mist in your past
I worry I missed my chance.

I'm happy for you for what you've built but I can't keep up; 

My life my schedule my wallet won't fit.

The push the drive the head clearing rush 

The thrill of the end the crush of the fear. 

Now I'm defeated deflated devoid

The momentum is gone I'm faking it now
Give up give in give way.  

Go through the motions don't look the fool 

My weakness apparent
Strength only borrowed not mine.

But I was your trial the run-through, your test.
You passed, I failed.  

I was never real just the substitute. 

Me? A Model?!?!

Well how's for silliness...?!  A fantastic photographer friend has asked me to be a guinea pig for him again. Working with one of the local salon owners, they came up with the idea of a fashion shoot using styles found in the thrift stores.  She will help find clothes, do the hair and make-up, then off to the studio for photos.  I love all the second hand stores here, most of my wardrobe is from the five shops.  But for modeling hair? Good grief!  I'm sure I'll be lectured for coloring my own hair and not using shampoo!

Funny to me was that my friend sent me the message asking about all this while I was lining up for the Civil War Style Show.  That was arranged by a lady that loved to sew ball gowns, but didn't wear them herself.  So she had me model one of her designs on a runway.

These are the fun things you get into when you say "Yes" to crazy friends, I guess!



UPDATE:  Here's the finished look.  I LOVE the red leather pants! http://www.logancountyherald.com/454/61108/a/lincoln-thrift-store-fashion-shoot-shows-inexpensive-fashion-is-possible