Scream

Sometimes I want to scream and cry and speak my mind.  

But it's selfish and petty and makes me look vain.  

The hurt and the pain I just can't explain 

Cuz what's in my brain isn't real.  

You won't understand I can't expect you to.  

You're happy and safe and moving forward a pace 

Your dreams and your future secure. 

But I'm left out left behind never coming to mind 

Forgotten or blurry a mist in your past
I worry I missed my chance.

I'm happy for you for what you've built but I can't keep up; 

My life my schedule my wallet won't fit.

The push the drive the head clearing rush 

The thrill of the end the crush of the fear. 

Now I'm defeated deflated devoid

The momentum is gone I'm faking it now
Give up give in give way.  

Go through the motions don't look the fool 

My weakness apparent
Strength only borrowed not mine.

But I was your trial the run-through, your test.
You passed, I failed.  

I was never real just the substitute.